Kehidupan kita di dunia ini tidak menjanjikan satu jaminan yang
berkekalan. Apa yang ada hanyalah percubaan, cabaran dan pelbagai
peluang.
Jaminan yang kekal abadi hanya dapat ditemui apabila kita kembali semula
ke pada Ilahi.
Assalammualaikum. Saya ada satu soalan berkenaan tanggungjawab ibubapa terhadap anak-anak mereka yang belum berkahwin. Adakah ibubapa mempunyai tanggungjawab memastikan setiap anak mereka itu berkahwin dan adakah ianya suatu dosa sekiranya mereka gagal berbuat sedemikian? Boleh tolong perjelaskan.
dyanazakaria wrote:
Assalammualaikum. Saya ada satu soalan berkenaan tanggungjawab ibubapa terhadap anak-anak mereka yang belum berkahwin. Adakah ibubapa mempunyai tanggungjawab memastikan setiap anak mereka itu berkahwin dan adakah ianya suatu dosa sekiranya mereka gagal berbuat sedemikian? Boleh tolong perjelaskan.
Sekian, terima kasih.
Wa salam alaykum wr wb saudari,
Terima kasih kerana sudi membuka soalan baru serta meletakkan keyakinan saudari pada website kami. Moga Allah swt terus memberi kita hidayah, ameen. InsyaAllah ana cuba jelaskan di bawah:
Mengikut saheeh hadith qudsi:
Rasulullah SAW Said, "One who is bestowed with children by the Almighty Allah, should give them good names, fine training and education and get them married when they gain adulthood. In case if they are not married, and they transgress the limits of virtue, the father will be held responsible".
Maka jika kita lihat hadith ini, jelaslah bagi jawapan kepada soalan saudari bahwa ibubapa bertanggung jawab memastikan anak itu kahwin dan ya ia boleh membawa dosa kepada ibubapa terutama kali kepada si ayah, jika mereka gagal dalam memberi dawaah Islamiyah akan peranan kahwin dalam institut Islam serta mengesyorkannya kepada si anak. Ini kerana peranan seorang ayah ialah untuk membimbing keluarganya ke arah Islam yang syumul.
Sekiranya, ibubapa sudah pun berdawaah kepada si anak, namun tetap gagal, maka, insyaAllah ibubapa akan terlepas dari responsibilities nya. Namun begitu jangan putus asa bila menasihati anak tu serta terus berdu'a dan berserah harapan kesulurahannya kepada Allah swt, agar dibuka pintu jodoh nya.
Sekiranya, anak yang dulu mengesyorkan diri nya harus berkahwin namun ibubapa menghalang di atas reasons yang kurang kuat, seperti pelajaran dan kerjaya dahulu, ini boleh membawa padah kepada si anak itu sendiri serta memberi bebanan dosa kepada ibubapa sendiri. Concept ini sama seperti melengahkan solah waktu wajib sekiranya keinginan kahwin itu jatuh hukum wajib kepada si anak. Ini kerana untuk mengelakkan si anak itu terjebak dalam maksiat zina yang di kini hari berlaku berleluasa di depan mata kita.
Moga ini dapat membantu, insyaAllah khayr.
Allahu Alam
Edited by nurul abdul on 12-11-2009 10:29
inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rawjeunn
As soon as the children cross the age of childhood and reach adolescence, the parent's responsibilities and anxieties take a new turn. The parents of fully grown up sons start dreaming of a house full of happiness, as their sons will bring in daughter-in-laws; and, in the case of daughters, they become worried and perplexed at the prospect of their daughter to belong to another household for ever, and of finding a good husband to look after her just as they had done. The marriage of children by their parents is a social, legal responsibility on the shoulders of the parents, as well as their natural desire.
Islam strongly advises to arrange the marriage of eligible and responsible children as soon as a suitable match is found for them. Ages may vary according to place, times and climes. The only reason for the delaying of marriage for a normal and healthy child, should be that a suitable match is not found or the child is not yet capable of supporting a family. Unnecessary delay in this matter and negligence in a matter as important as this, can have serious social problems and irrepairable damage to the iman faith and corruption of dignity of that child and his entire family.
The Holy Prophet of Allah, Muhammad bin 'Abdullah (saw) had Said, "One who is bestowed with children by the Almighty Allah, should give them good names, fine training and education and get them married when they gain adulthood. In case if they are not married, and they transgress the limits of virtue, the father will be held responsible".
In another tradition, the last Messenger of Allah (saw) is reported to have said, " It has been ordained in the Torah: old-Testament, that a father, whose daughter reaches the age of twelve, and due to the delay in marriage, indulges in wrong behaviour, will bear the responsibility of that sin" (see Olgar, Musa Ahmad, Upbringing of Children, Madrassah Banat al-Salihat, Isipingo Beach Durban, South Africa, 1993 pp. 154-7.)
When finding a suitable match, take into consideration the following Tradition, and not rush into a matter which entails lifelong commitment. It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurairah (ra) in the mishkat al-Masabih that the noble Messenger of Allah said, " A woman may be married for four reasons: for her wealth ; her status; her beauty and for her piety. Try to marry a pious girl, and prosper". A pious wife is termed as " The best object of benefit in this world " by the last and noble Prophet (saw). He also been reported to have said, " Marry loving and fertile women, for indeed I will envy you for your numerical superiority ( to other nations on the day of reckoning) ".
Khalid Dhorat (Moulana)
inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rawjeunn
Name of Questioner Suhaib - United Kingdom Title Parents Facilitating Their Children’s Marriages Question
Dear Sheikh, As-Salamu `alaykum! From my discussions with many male youths here in the UK, I have come to the conclusion that the biggest problem facing the youth is the opposite sex. With the media and society in general pushing promiscuity in our faces all day, the temptation becomes too much for some.
However, unfortunately, some parents disregard this and refuse the wish of their children to marry, putting it off till they complete their degrees and get jobs. Many times this means they are into their late 20s. Meanwhile large numbers of youth are being lost to this evil. Yet we know that Allah will provide for those who place their trust in Him. What advice can you give to the parents and youth? What are the responsibilities of both of them? Jazakum Allahu khayran.
Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.
Islam is dedicated to establishing a clean society that abides by the rules of morality and manners in all its aspects and relationships. In line with this, Islam has made marriage the only lawful channel for the opposite sexes to meet and fulfill their desires as well as shoulder their responsibilities in establishing the family institution, which is the nucleus of a healthy community.
Considering the numerous temptations to which Muslim youths—especially those in the West—are exposed, Muslim parents should take these pressures into account and facilitate marriage for their children, rather than block or put hurdles in the path of marriage. They should relax the stringent conditions they often attach to marriage such as the huge amounts of dower and other luxurious preparations.
Answering the question you raised, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
You have raised a very serious issue. In fact, you have spoken on behalf of all those youth who are anxious to preserve their faith, morality and chastity intact in the midst of temptations. I consider it the primary duty of parents to take into account the pressures exerted on the youth in this society and come back to their senses. Instead of blocking or putting hurdles in the path of marriage, they should facilitate it. It is important for them to know that the purpose of marriage in Islam is to protect both the man and woman. How can we expect our youth to protect themselves if we don't give them permission to get married? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "O youth, whoever can marry, let him do so, for it helps to lower the gaze and protect one's chastity."
I consider this as a grave issue that every Muslim parent should take into account. They should relax the stringent conditions they often attach to marriage. The Muslim community (imams and leaders in the mosques and centers) have a responsibility to allow Muslim youth, males and females, to meet and get to know each other in a clean and supervised environment so that they can find suitable marriage candidates. May Allah guide us to the right path!
In this context, Dr. Taha Jaber Al-`Alwani, president of the Graduate School of Islamic and Social Sciences and president of the Fiqh Council of North America, adds:
I think that the parents must be wise enough to know the situation of their children. The parents must help their children to practice a very clean life. Without this, they would jeopardize their present time and their future if they go to indulge themselve in haram (unlawful practices). With this, I advise the parents of the young boys in the colleges and young girls in the colleges to help them to get married when they find they would like to do it and there is nothing wrong if the two families continue helping their children to get married and finish their study without a lot of expenses. If the boy or girl is living in the dormatory or University dorm, they can share their lives together on the campus with the help of the two families until they have graduated. If there is any fear, they should take wise decisions for themselves. I think they are wise enough when they try to seek the halal and try to avoid the haram.
Getting married for the young is very good for protecting themselves from all sorts of physical, emotional, and religious sicknesses. I would like to warn the parents here that if they insist to stand up against their children who like to get married, they are putting them under pressure and in a very bad situation. I would advise the whole Muslim families in the West (America or Europe) to take this advice seriously and go with it. Any impact wouldn't be more negative than practicing the haram.
Wa'Allahu Alam
Edited by nurul abdul on 12-11-2009 10:35
inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rawjeunn
saya adalah org baru dalam muslim diary ini.saya harap segala masalah saya dapat d selesai dalm diary ini/ ..masalah saya kadang2 hati saya akan terungkap(saya muslim,,saya bukan muslim.,no2 saya mu
..masalah saya kadang2 hati saya akan terungkap(saya muslim,,saya bukan muslim.,no2 saya mu